Articles

The lies we tell ourselves are the hardest to debunk

Now I know. Some people are just sadistic. A while ago, I became the unexpected recipient of a verbal act of cruelty that left me not only hurt but made me think. In a previous life I would have gone looking for fault in myself. Having now let go of the constant self inflicted guilt, I can see more clearly what people actually are doing as it happens in a purely descriptive way.

The Fatal Triangle

My mind likes to look for patterns in people’s behaviour. I suppose this is a skill acquired out of necessity when having to adapt to a different culture more than once It used to be that when you moved to a different country, you discovered that people valued, liked or disliked, agreed or opposed different ideas, habits or traditions. The majority also used to speak a different common language. Spotting the idioms, code words, expressions in fashion comes easy to me.

The Ones Who Leave, and Why

I know of this couple. They seemed to form a strong partnership. They built a life together for almost ten years. They have a pet, and perhaps thought of having children one day. One day she was chirping around him, looking light and happy; the next she is leaving. How this could happen? I do not know. But I know WHAT happened. It breaks my heart and I want to scream “What is wrong with you?

In Defense of My Sanity

This is a bridge in Andimesk, Iran. I was four years old when my parents and I were walking over it on one beautiful day. We must have been coming from the downtown bazaar back to the car. I remember it being busy with people, noises and colours, and my naked feet in red sandals. Andimesk, Iran As we passed by a begging woman sitting on the pavement against the thick stone wall and holding a miserable looking child.

Princess Kuznetsova

Princess Kuznetsova Madame Nina died many years ago. Few, if any at all, will remember the old lady. She was a living yet fading memory of pre-communist Russia, as one could guess after a glance at her ragged yet fine clothes, her proud and dignified posture and her heavy rolling Russian accent. Princess Kuznetsova, as she introduced herself, had fled the Communist Revolution in St Petersburg on a train to Paris with her husband, Prince Kuznetsov.

I Don't Want To Be Dolores

Here I am, after a three year hiatus. For some weeks I have been occupied with the sensation that I am understanding things that I could not comprehend before. I have been avidly watching Westworld in my third attempt to grasp the deeper meaning, and here are a few observations and thoughts that it triggered: When I was seven years old, which is my favourite age to remember, everything just was the way it was to the naked eye.

Why ‘Unedited only’?

More and more, in our professional and personal lives, we are being told there are words, concepts, emotions and topics that must be edited or removed altogether from our lexicon. There are things we must now say in order to appear “normal” and placate the masses; and others that must be edited or massaged through a labyrinth of political correctness to avoid public ridicule, ostracization or even punitive action. After witnessing the ideological shifts slowly infiltrating the realm of the mental health profession, practising psychotherapy began to resemble more a walk in a minefield of risks than a healthy and authentic relationship guided by a caring and rational human being.